Never Let Go
by Zodiac-Attack
Summary: Simply Put: John and Karkat both like each other but need some help to figure it out.


The first fan fiction I wrote for Homestuck. For Choco

* * *

== Be the angry fuckass.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are currently flipping the fuck out. Again. This is not an uncommon thing for you, though you'll deny it with everything you've got when your fuckass of a moirail Sollux brings it up. But the topic on which you're freaking out about was one of a new quadrant for you...

Sure, you have helped most of your friends sort out their redder quadrants, but actually starting to lean into that yourself- fuck, it freaked you out. It wasn't the concept of being flushed for another, you'd been before even if it really wasn't... real... but that's a shard of though you don't want to entertain now. Today. Or ever, preferably. You know you fucked shit up with Terezi and that you are going to have to fix it but...

No. No, you're not thinking about that. You're going to tick to the topic at hand, the reason your 'flipping off the handle' as Strider would say.

No, you aren't afraid of be flushed, especially if the other option was joining the forevver-alone party with Eridan. And it wasn't the concept of pitying someone out of your species. That clearly wasn't a problem to worry about, seeing how the Rose-Human and Kanaya can't stop sucking each other's faces off. No, it was more about being unaccepted that scared you.

Unacceptance. It's always there, always hiding, ready to attack at the slightest sign of weakness. It was the reason you stayed inside, one step out would get you culled in an instant. The reason that, before the game, you never met any of your friends troll-to-troll, so your mutant blood would never be discovered. It was why, despite how much these assholes pissed you off, they were still your friends. Fuck. You are Karkat Vantas. And you afraid.

What?! Karkat Fucking Vantas afraid?! Of a nooksucking human?! Ha! You are not afraid. In fact, you'll message him right now.

**-carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EG]-**

EB: hey, karkat!

EB: what's up?

You can see his derpy smile ever plastered to his face in your head. Gog why must he be so fucking adorable?

CG: I...

CG: UM...

CG: FUCK THIS

**-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EG]-**

EB: karkat?

EB: ?

You sigh, leaning back from your computer screen. "Fuck this." You whisper.

You glance around the room, seeing no one there to witness you become a fucking pathetic wriggler, afraid to talk to the boy you are flushed for. Fuck this. Fuck pity, fuck flushing, and fuck you for being such a grub that you can't even summon the courage to talk to him and act like the angry fuckass you usually are. You grown and slam your face into the keyboard.

**-carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]-**

CG: re3er5yt7iujblfcasiubwdilqwd iqwdqwdiyqr32riuqg873tr39grh ouwqou13

GC: WH4T?

Your head rocks up and oh, fuck your life. You've started trolling Terezi. _Shit_.

CG: FUCK.

CG: NOTHING.

GC: OH PL34SE, K4RKL3S

GC: 1 C4N T3LL YOUR3 LY1ING :O

CG: HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?

GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4 1 D1DN'T :]

CG: FUCK

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: FUCK LIFE AND FUCK YOU.

GC: COM3 ON K4RKL3S, WH4T'S WRONG?

CG: AS I SAID BEFORE, NO-FUCKING-THING

CG: FUCK

**_-_****carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [EG]-**

GC: :O

GC: RUD3 K4RKL3S!

You growl again and lean back from the computer, still unsure of what to do, the 'conversation' with Terezi did little to improve your mood. Now you are confused, stressed and flipping your shit.

"Thanks a fucking lot." You snarl at the troll you were in a 'matespritship' with. Or at least that's what everyone, including she, thought.

Fuck. Another thing to complicate your life. Just what the doctor fucking prescribed. Whatever the fuck that meant... Strider had said it once.

You wish you could ask someone for help with your many issues, but you're the fucking fearless leader! You can't ask others to solve your fucking problems. Especially when all those nubslurping idiots were the ones asking i_you/i_ for quadrant help. They clearly don't know more about relationships (troll or human) than you do. So why can't you solve your own fucking problem, fuckass?

Great. Now you're talking to yourself and this time it's not one of your future or past selves. Your head becomes reacquainted with the desk, this time missing your keyboard. You really hate emotions right now.

== Be the derpy boy.

You are JOHN EGBERT and you are currently confused. Karkat just started talking to you and then he got all flustered and left suddenly. And for some reason, your heart kind of hurt when he did. But it's because he's your friend! Nothing else, right? You're not a homosexual... right? You frown and pull back from the PDA screen.

Okay. If you were homosexual, and this is completely hypothetical thinking here! Why would you be falling in love with some you've only met a few weeks ago? Someone who reminds you every day how much he hates you and your species? Someone who isn't even in your species? But that someone is really cute for a dickhead. Dear God, did you just call Karkat cute?! Hypothetically of course!

You burry your face in your hands, not believing a word you just thought. You need to talk to someone. Someone who will help you sort through the mess in your head. You windy-thing your fallen PDA to your hands again; smiling slightly, seeing it in perfect condition. One of the reasons you love your 'ancient piece of old-school shit'- it can take a beating, much unlike a certain Strider's iPhone, but you're not pointing fingers! (Nor are you confirming or denying that the prank that involved it breaking was your fault.) You pull up pesterchum and lets see here...

Rose? No. No way. Not with her psychoanalyzing every word you say... well, type. Whatever. On the other hand, she would be a HUGE help in trying to figure out your mind, but she's not on. Probably... ugh... making out with Kanaya somewhere, not something you want to interrupt. Or see. Again.

Jade? Maybe. She would try to help you, but she's always so cryptic about... everything. And can't keep a secret to save her life. And she's offline... strange for someone who carries no less then five computers on there person at all times.

Well, that just leaves... Oh God. Dave. Well, he _is_ your best bro... you're sure he'll help you with out being a _complete_ dick. Maybe not on the last part.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntecGodhead [TG]-**

EB: dave!

EB: you there?

TG: sup

EB: hey!

EB: ummmmmmmm...

EB: i kinda have a question.

EB: or statement.

EB: comment?

EB: maybe...

EB: i don't know

TG: john

TG: chill the fuck out

EB: okay, okay, okay.

EB: dave

EB: i think i have something to say.

TG: you think

TG: i would think you would know what youre thinking and if you wanted to say something or not

TG: whoa

TG: too much mind fuck in that sentence

EB: dave!

EB: this is serious!

EB: i need your help!

TG: well

TG: spill it egderp

EB: i'm trying!

TG: i dont have all day

EB: you have all the time in the world and we both know it!

EB: okay...

EB: here it goes...

EB: daveithinkimightbeahomosexua l.

TG: wow egbert

TG: it took you this fucking long?

EB: what?

TG: i so called this years ago

TG: in fact

TG: i just won a bet with harley

EB: so...

EB: you're not mad or anything?

TG: why on earth

TG: wait

TG: rewind that back

TG: why on this fucking meteor would i be mad?

TG: youre my best bro

TG: and anything you are is totally cool

TG: in your derpy way of being somewhat cool

EB: uh...

EB: thanks?

EB: i think?

EB: not quite sure if that was a complement or insult...

TG: but i have one question

TG: who brought all this homosexuality out of the closet of egderps mind where it lay sleeping for all these long years?

EB: had to make your self sound all fancy, didn't you?

TG: youre avoiding the question egbert

EB: no!

TG: yes

EB: maybe.

TG: john

TG: enough with the fucking maybes

EB: sorry.

EB: i just don't want to tell you because i don't think you like him very much

TG: john

TG: just tell me

TG: no judgement here bro

EB: ...karkat...

TG: hahahahahaha

TG: really egbert?

TG: that douchebag?

EB: dave!

EB: be nice!

TG: im joking john

TG: chill out

TG: hed probably be easier to handle than mine

EB: what?

EB: dave.

EB: are you in a relationship and didn't tell me?

TG: ...

TG: yeah

EB: i'm hurt!

EB: your actions wound me!

TG: oh shut up

TG: so dramatic

TG: sorry about not telling you though

TG: i just didnt want to and find out you were a huge homophobe or something

TG: youd do a backflip of the fucking handle

EB: i would not have!

EB: and i'm not a homophobe.

TG: clearly

EB: shut up

EB: but...

EB: does that mean your homosexual too?

TG: yes

TG: and no

TG: im bisexual

EB: i could have guessed that

EB: it just seems so you

EB: like something you'd be

TG: oh really

EB: yeah

EB: i don't know

EB: it just seems like you'd be bi

EB: it just fits

TG: since when were we talking about me?

EB: since you let slip you were in a relationship

EB: with a guy

EB: who is it?

EB: i didn't think anyone was cool enough to get a piece of strider ass.

TG: well theres someone

TG: that totally cool bi-polar troll sollux

EB: really?

EB: karkat's moirial?

EB: friend

EB: whatever

EB: have i ever mentioned how much i hate quadrants?

TG: ...

TG: i have an ironic idea

EB: do you have any other kind of ideas, 'cool kid?' :B

TG: of course not

TG: but i have to go

TG: putting this ironic plan into action

TG: im so doing this man

TG: im making shit happen

TG: later

**-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]-**

EB: wait!

EB: dave!

EB: i haven't even asked you my question!

EB: i need help!

EB: fuck

== Be the cool kid.

You are DAVE STRIDER and you currently putting your plan into motion. You click away from John's pesterchum handle and flip over to your boyfriend's.

**-turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]-**

TG: hey honey

TA: 2up hummiingbiird.

Despite how uncool it is, you find yourself _slightly _blushing at his assigned 'pet-name' for you. And at the fact that you know he's blushing at his.

TG: have i told you i loved you today?

TA: ye2.

TA: twiice, iinfact.

TG: i did it just for you

TA: ii know.

TG: but

TG: i have a small favor to ask

TA: what ii2 iit?

TG: you know your angry fuckass friend

TG: whos always yelling and bitching about every little thing

TG: he needs to get laid

TA: KK?

TA: yeah, he doe2.

TA: are you goiing two help hiim wiith that problem?

TG: fuck no

TG: but i know someone who will

TG: but it depends on vantas

TG: and who hes 'flushed' for

TG: or if he even has feelings for anyone

TA: haha.

TA: that'2 a good que2tiion.

TA: ii'm pretty 2ure iit'2 egbert.

TA: but you want me two double check?

TG: pretty much

TA: two que2tiion2 though, love.

TG: fire away

TA: who and why.

TG: who my best bro egbert

TA: egbert'2 wiilliing two bang KK?

TG: i dont know if hell go that far

TG: yet

TG: why just trying my hand at this matching game

TG: though last time these god hands played a game

TG: the fucking world blew up

TA: hahahaha.

TA: but you're better at matchiing game2.

TA: we're a good match riight?

You smirk at your love's sudden show of insecurity.

TG: of course darling

TG: i am the sky

TG: you are the sun

TG: im forever holding you in my arms

TA: that wa2...

TA: 2weet.

TA: commiing from you.

TG: anything for you sweet heart

TA: and anythiing for you 2ugar.

TA: ii'll talk two KK then check back.

TA: but ii wiill be expectiing 2omething later.

TG: im yours

TG: all you need to do is ask

TA: be back on the double, hummiingbiird.

TG: hurry back honey

**-twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]-**

You lean back from the screen, smiling for several reasons. One, you're going to have some fun with helping John. Two, you love Sollux Captor with every fiber of your being. Three, you were going to have some fun later.

== Be the other cool kid.

You are SOLLUX CAPTOR and you are currently thinking that Dave Strider is one sexy genius. You've know for a while that Karkat is flushed for John, even if he denies it. But, really, if he didn't want anyone to know, why would Karkat watch him so much and get nervous when he was in the room? Plus, if you didn't know this kind of stuff about him, what kind of a moirail would you be?

You smirk almost evilly, wondering how to get him to confess...

It would be easer to read his expression, and to use your psionics if push came to shove, so it looks like you're going to the main control room.

You silently step off the transport pad into the control room to see Karkat, head resting on his hand, zoning out, looking into the computer screen, which was filled with pictures of John from all different points in the time line. KK really needs to get a life. Or the guts to confess to John. Either one works.

He did not appear to hear you come in, so this should be fun! You carefully slide up behind him with stealth Strider would be proud of, then whisper in his ear:

"You know you'll meth up your eyeth if you thit that clothe to the threen."

You get the satisfaction of Karkat jumping at least a foot in the air. And you can't help the smirk that breaks onto your face or the chuckle that leaves your mouth.

"WHAT THE FUCK CAPTOR?!" he shrieks.

"That wath overly thatithfying. A million timeth better than what wath in my head."

He growls in response. "What the hell do you want, nooksucker?"

You shrug and take the seat next to him, stretching out your legs and crossing your arms. "I want you to confeth."

"Confess what?" He crosses his arms, glaring at you.

"Confeth your feelingth for him." You gesture to the screen, still showing snap shots of the Heir.

A light red hue flows onto his face as he glances towards the human on the computer. "I'm not flushed for the derpy fuckass"

You smile, Karkat's quite voice, flushed face, lowered eyes and fisted hands betray his words.

"And I'm not Tholluckth Captor. I'm calling Bullthit, KK. You were alwayth thuch a terrible lier. You're fluthed. You can't deny or hide it, tho admit it." You tighten your arms and slightly tilt your head, a quirk you do when you're overly concentrating on something- your subject this time being Karkat's expression.

His eye brows furrow angrily, his eyes saying 'Oh gog why do you have to be so right all the time?!' You give a silent thanks to Strider for his poker face and the fact you can now read anyone's expression. Karkat opens his mouth to say something, you quirk up an eyebrow and he closes his mouth again, brows furrowing. The softening, his whole face relaxing, followed by his shoulder and the rest of his body slumps over.

"I fucking hate you sometimes."

You smirk. "What are friendth for?"

He takes a deep breath and rocks up, straight back and face, crossing his arms. "Why did I have to get stuck with such a nooksucking moirail? Why do you want to know so badly?"

You shurg, debating lying or telling the truth to your moirail.

"Jutht trying to help out a friend." Technically, you weren't lying. You were trying to help KK out. And Dave. And John. And yourself. "Well it doesn't matter what you thay anymore. Your reaction hath thaid all I needed to know."

Karkat's eyes widen, his breath hitching in his throat. "Ah! Bu- F- Fu- Fuckass!"

You smile widely, showing off your pointed smile. "And that jutht confirmed it even more." You swiftly abscond to your respiteblock before Karkat could start bitching about... everything and anything, really.

**-twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]-**

TG: wow

TG: back already?

TA: that wa2 a quiick re2ponse, hummiingbiird.

TA: were you waiitiing for me?

TG: come on honey

TG: im a cool guy

TG: do you think i have no life outside of you?

TA: yes.

TG: well youre right

TG: shit

TG: so what happened

TG: with the fuckass

TA: dave, darliing.

TA: be niice.

TA: he ii2 my moirail after all.

TG: sorry love

TA: iit'2 cool

TG: of course it is

TG: its us after all

TA: ye2 iit ii2.

TA: and we are.

TA: anyway.

TA: back on topiic.

TA: KK i2 2eriiou2ly flu2hed for john.

TA: liike...

TA: what'2 the human expre22iion?

TA: head over heal2?

TG: yeah

TG: really that much?

TA: yeah.

TA: when ii walked iin, he wa2 2paciing out 2tariing at john'2 piicture on hii2 computer

TG: hahahahahahaha

TG: oh god that is hilarious

TG: i cant decide whether its more creepy or funny

TA: ii 2cared the crap out of hiim.

TA: iit wa2 very funny.

TG: i would have loved to see that

TA: ii told hiim to confe22 hii2 feeliing2 and he 2tarted two fliip hii2 2hiit liike alway2.

TA: but hii2 poker face 2uck2.

TA: well, at lea2t two me.

TA: ii've gotten pretty fuckiing good at readiing face2 thank2 two you, 2ugar.

TG: your welcome for the unknown help then sexy

TA: he'2 2o flu2hed.

TA: ii almo2t feel 2orry for hiim.

TA: and the fact that he'2 not goiing to 2uck iit up and admiit iit.

TG: thats where we come in my dear

TG: you need to tell vantas that egberts flushed for him

TG: and ill tell egbert about vantas

TA: okay.

TA: one problem.

TA: KK'2 not goiing to beliieve anythiing ii tell hiim.

TA: e2pecially that.

TG: figured as much

TG: but weve got to make this shit hapen

TG: for our sake at least

TG: cause well never hear the end of it if we leet this side on by

TG: like a river flowing over rough rocks

TA: fiine.

TA: but.

TA: ii thiink iit would be more fun not two tell them.

TA: but iin2tead two hiint at iit.

TG: agreed

TG: let them freak and figure it out themselves

TA: well, ii'm goiing two go hook up my moirail wiith your be2t bro.

TA: wii2h me luck.

TG: luck

TG: and ill do the same

TA: and ill 2ee you iin my room later, hummiingbiird.

TG: ill be waiting honey

**-twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]-**

You lean back from your computer, smirking. This is going to be fun.

== be the aderpable one

You pace your room uneasily. What was that all about with Dave? What was he thinking? You never know and probably never will know what goes on inside your best friend's head. If you really wanted to know what he was up to, you could always go to his room and see... but that might run you into Karkat and then...

"Ohh..." You feel you face turn a sharp red. Even though you've only admitted your feelings today, you know that you've liked Karkat since you met him. You just never realized that your feelings were in a romantic sense before...

Your computer dings, waking you from your train of thought that you've spent half an hour entertaining your think-pan. Mind! God, the trolls are really getting to you! You slide over to your computer praying it's Dave and that he'll stop being a stikedick /strikeCOOL KID long enough to help you out.

**strong-turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]-/strong**

EB: dave!

EB: where did you go?

EB: i really need your help!

TG: dude

TG: dont make me tell you to stop flipping your shit again

TG: and ive been helping you

TG: so youre welcome

TG: but if youre just going to freak out again...

EB: no!

EB: i'm sorry.  
EB: it's just i have have no idea what to do.

EB: all these 'feelings' are just in a huge knot.

TG: i know

TG: just calm down

EB: sorry.

EB: i am taking deep breaths.

EB: and trying not to windy thing everything around my room.

TG: good

TG: now

TG: i talked to Captor

TG: and he said

TG: something about someone

EB: what the hell is that supposed to mean?!

TG: something

EB: well you're helpful

TG: well sollux said it wouldn't be as much fun to tell you right out what a certain persons emotional state is

TG: and he was right

EB: what?

TG: exactly

EB: ?

EB: know what isn't fun?

EB: me having no clue what you're talking about!

TG: hahahahaha

TG: yeah it is

TG: you should message the fuckass

TG: vantas

TG: sorry

TG: see what he has to say

EB: uhhhhhhhh...

EB: okay...

EB: i guess.

EB: but what should i say?

TG: what ever comes to your head or heart

TG: which ever you think from

TG: now see ya later

TG: i have a date that i dont wish to be late to

**-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]-**

EB: ddddddddaaaaaaaavvvvvvvveeee eeee!

EB: don't do this to me again!

EB: dave!

EB: shit.

== Be 'the fuckass' Karkat

Fuck that lispy prick! He always has to get into your pants business! Why wont he ever just leave you alone?! You shut off the computer and quickly abscond to your respiteblock, not wanting to talk or do anything with anyone. You don't know what you'll do when you get there,but you do know that you only want to be left alone to mope in your pool of self pity and misery. But not actual pity, only _platonic_ pity. You step off the transportalizer to be greeted by the annoying dinging of your computer.

"Fuck this fucking shit it better not be that fucking noocksucking wriggler of a moirail..." You approach your computer to see his troll tag. "Oh my Gog why can't he just fucking leave me the fuck alone?"

**-twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]-**

TA: KK.

TA: KK.

TA: karkat.

TA: karkat fuckiing vanta2 ii know you're there!

TA: KK.

TA: ii have 2omethiing iimportant two 2ay.

TA: but iif you don't want two here it...

CG: OH MY GOG CAPTOR!

CG CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE FUCKING MINUTE?

His response was instant, you wonder if he actually can read your mind.

TA: no.

TA: but really, KK.

TA: that'2 what moiiraiil2 are for.

CG: FUCK YOU CAPTOR.

TA: now, KK.

TA: ii know you don't want two do that wiith me.

TA: a2 fun a2 that would be. B-)

CG: WHAT THE HELL?!

TA: but ii know who you would liike two do that with.

CG: DEAR GOG CAPTOR!

CG: DO YOU HAVE ANY BOUNDARIES?

TA: nope.

CG: MUST YOU ALWAYS TWIST MY WORDS?

TA: yep.

CG: AND RUB MY PERSONAL SHIT AND PROBLEMS IN MY FACE?

TA: yep.

TA: and you deal wiith iit cau2e iim your bes2t friiend.

CG: SADLY.

TA: KK, you wound me!

CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

TA: fiine then.

TA: iif you're goiing to be that way.

TA: ii won't tell you what ii came here two 2ay.

TA: even though iit'2 very iimportant two you.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK COULD POSSIBLY BE SO FUCKING IMPORTANT FOR ME TO HEAR FROM YOUR LISPY MOUTH?

TA: the 2tatu2 of your little cru2h'2 love liife.

CG: ...

CG: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

TA: nothiing much.

TA: ju2t that ii happen to know who egbert i2 flu2hed for.

CG: AND HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?

TA: 2trider.

CG: AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT FUCKASS ISN'T LIEING?

TA: he wouldn't liie two me.

CG: HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW?

TA: egbert told him.

TA: why ii2 iit that you never beliieve me when iim triing two help you?

TA: ii try two help you.

TA: told you not two open that file.

TA: and what did you do?

TA: YOU OPENED THE FUCKIING FIILE

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP, CAPTOR.

TA: fiine.

TA: ii wasn't planniing two tell you anyway.

TA: that would ruiin the fun.

CG: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

TA: nope.

TA: all ii'm 2ayiing ii2 two talk two egbert

TA: 2ee what he ha2 two 2ay on the matter

TA: later

**-twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]-**

CG: SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR!

CG: GET BACK HERE!

CG: ASSMUNCHER!

CG: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND LEAVE!

CG: FUCK.

You stare at the screen in disbelief. Who does that? Comments on your crush's feelings, says to message them and then leaves? Fuck. You're so confused on what to think or do, maybe some sleep will help you out. Yeah. Sleep now, think about confusing complicated relationship problems later.

Your computer dings again, you growl and use all your self control not to fling your computer across the room. "Who the fuck could it be n-" You freeze, shocked by the name flashing in your contacts.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]-**

"What the fuck?"

EB: hey...

EB: karkat?

EB: you there?

EB: dave says we should talk...

EB: about

EB: "emotional states" were his exact words

EB: i'm not sure what that means though...

CG: JOHN.

CG: SHUT UP.

EB: sorry

CG: STRIDER TOLD YOU TO TALK TO ME?

EB: yeah...

CG: CAPTOR JUST TOLD ME TO TALK TO YOU.

EB: that's odd.

CG: NO

CG: THAT'S PLANNING.

CG: THEY WANT US TO TALK ABOUT "FEELINGS"

EB: hmmmmmmmm...

EB: i wonder why.

CG: GOOD FUCKING QUESTION!

EB: so should we?

CG: WHAT?

EB: talk about our "feelings"?

CG: ...

CG: ...

CG: OKAY.

CG: I GUESS.

EB: uhhhhhhhh...

EB: i don't know where to start...

EB: or what to say...

CG: THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

CG: FUCK

EB: what?

CG: I DON'T KNOW.

CG: I'M JUST CONFUSED AS FUCK AND MY FUCKASS MOIRAIL WAS BEING AS HELPFUL AS SHIT.

EB: oh.

EB: i get that.

EB: i'm in a bit of a situation myself and dave's not helping for shit either.

EB: i'm totally lost.

EB: and i have no clue what to do at all.

CG: WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

EB: uhhhhhhhh...

CG: WILL YOU STOP THAT VIRSKA-EIGHT THING?!

EB: sorry

CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH?

EB: i'm having trouble coming up with the right words

EB: hehe!

EB: ironically, that too is my problem!

CG: HMMM...

CG: COMING UP WITH THE RIGHT WORDS?

CG: I GUESS, IN A WAY, THAT IS MY PROBLEM AS WELL.

EB: really?

EB: maybe we can help each other out?

CG: I DON'T KNOW.

EB: why not?

CG: BEAUSE...

CG: UHHH...

CG: NEVER MIND

CG: WHAT'S YOUR "WORD" PROBLEM?

EB: well...

EB: i want to tell someone something but i'm afraid of what they'll say because i refused them before i knew something about me.

EB: something that would have changed my answer.

EB: but i don't know what he'll do or think because i'm pretty sure that he hates me and thinks i'm stupid.

CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY THINK YOUR STUPID?

CG: WAIT.

Oh gog, oh gog, oh gog... is getting at what you think he's getting at? You hope he's getting at what what you think he's getting at.

CG: HE?

CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHOLE "I'M JOHN EGBERT AND I'M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL" WHAT EVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS.

EB: yeah...

EB: about that...

EB: i guess i'm not anymore?

EB: or as dave said,

EB: "recently discovered i always was"?

EB: so... yeah.

CG: SO YEAH?

CG: THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT TO SAY?

EB: uhh...

CG: REALLY?

EB: what about...

EB: ithinkimightloveyou/feelfushedforyou/have'redfeelings'foryou/pityyou i'mnotevensurewhati'msayinganymoresoi'mjustgoingtoshutupnow.

Oh gog he's getting at what you thought he was getting at!

CG: ...JOHN?

EB: ...yes?

CG: YOU

CG: FEEL

CG: RED

CG: FOR

CG: ME?

EB: ...

EB: yes.

EB: yes i am.

EB: do.

CG: REALLY?

CG: OH GOG.

CG: JOHN

EB: i totally understand if you're mad at me now or something.

CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM RIGHT NOW.

EB: what?!

CG: JOHN EGBERT,

CG: I AM,

CG: AND PROBABLY ALWAYS WILL BE,

CG: COMPLETELY FLUSHED FOR YOU

EB: what?

EB: you are!?

EB: really?!

CG: WELL, YEAH DERPFACE.

CG: I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT IF I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

EB: sooo... uhh... what now?

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT NOW?"

CG AND THANK YOU FOR DROPPING THE EIGHT THING BECAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO TACKLE THE FUCKING COMPUTER IF I SAW ANOTHER SET OF EIGHT SOMETHINGS

EB: you're welcome i guess?

EB: and i don't know.

EB: I mean, we just confessed that we like eachother,

EB: so what do we do now?

EB: like what happens in your romance movies when two people or, er, Trolls like each other?

CG: ...

CG: SLOPPY MAKE-OUTS.

CG: ARE YOU IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK?

EB: what?

EB: oh! my room!

EB: ...yeah.

EB: why?

CG: DON'T MOVE.

CG: I'M COMING OVER

**-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-**

You lean back from you screen, smiling like a fucking idiot but you really don't care. _He_ is flushed for you. _He_ didn't reject you. _John_ pities you. You are the probably happiest Troll or Human of this fucking meteor right now. Your cheeks begin to feel sore, stretching out you face mussels in a manner that they've rarely felt. You don't give yourself another minute before jumping out of your chair and absconding the hell out of your respiteblock.

== be John.

You sit back form your computer wearing your full blown derpy smile. _He_ loves you! _He _doesn't hate you! _Karkat_ loves you! This is probably one of the best moments in your life, even better than when your dad had got you the unlimited Nic Cage movie collection for your birthday all those years ago. You're so exited and before you know it, the wind begins to pick up around you and you're cast into the air.

If possible, your smile widens as you realize that once again your emotions, and in turn, your windy thing abilities have spun out of your control, but this time in a good way. You are likely the only one of your friends who needs to keep their emotions in check to control their God Tier abilities, but at the moment, you don't find it all that bad. The transportalizer in your room makes the weird sound, signifying that someone i-_Karkat!-_/iis coming into your room.

Karkat appears before your eyes and you tackle him from above, laughing hysterically.

"Jo-GAW! Fuck!"

You giggle, arms wrapping around around Karkat's torso, pinning the troll to the ground. "Hehehehehe! Hi-ya Karkat!" You nuzzle your head into his neck.

"J-j-john!"

You laugh again, having clearly startled him. You can feel the wind tone down around you as you hold onto Karkat tighter.

"Fuck John," he wheezes, "breathing is required."

Reluctantly, you pull back from his body, your face a bright red. "Hehehe! Sorry Karakt!"

Karkat sits up, well as far as he can with you sitting on him. His face showing two things you've never before seen on Karkat: a huge smile and his cheeks dusted a pale crimson. "Are you really this exited to see me?"

"Mmmmmmmmmhhhhmmmmm!" You nod. "It's not everyday that I find out that the person who I thought hated me actually likes me!"

Karkat looks sown, face softening lightly. "I didn't really hate you. I just didn't know how to react to this emotion before. I just thought it was hate like everything else." He whispers. "I didn't tell you because I was afraid of rejection." His eyes widen suddenly. "Ah-Shit-Fuck! P-pretend that you didn't hear that!"

You freeze. Did, did Kakrkat just... admit... a weakness to you? He... is afraid... of being hurt. It all made sense now; his hard outer shell, sharp words and scowling face. It was all for protection. Protection from being hurt. You suddenly see Karkat in a whole new light now. And this is all you need. Filled with renewed confidence, you lean forward, bring your lips to lightly touch his. Karkat's body freezes at your sudden action, then he slowly pushes back into the kiss you started. You feel your heart pick up, the only thoughs passing through your head being: 'Oh god. Oh god. Kissing. Karkat. I am kissing Karkat Vantas. And I'm enjoying it!'

Both of your eyes drift closed and your brain switches off, leaving just the feeling of Karkat's lips on yours. _And what an amazing feeling it is! _

Slowly, you both pull back, eyes hazily open, locking with the other. "That was..."

"Nice." He finishes for you.

"Was that too forward of me?" You ask shyly, averting your eyes.

"No," Karkat says, lifting your chin so you are looking back into yellow-grey-red eyes. "actually, it's a bit to slow for my tastes."

Karkat locks his lips with yours again, eyes falling closed. You follow Karkat's actions, closing your eyes, leaning into the kiss. You feel Karkat's lips shift and _his tounge! _pressing against your lips. Instinctively, you open your lips, allowing the slippery wet muscle entrance to your mouth. You can feel Karkat's smile as you tilt your head to allow his tongue further access.

"Mmmm..." What the hell? You pull back blushing, a hand over your mouth. "Sorry!"

Karkat frowns at you, softly rubbing your cheek. "Why? If you don't want this then-"

"No!" You whisper sharply. "It's just... that noise... embarrassing." If possible, your blush deepens and you burry your head into Karkat's shoulder.

"It. Was. _Hot._" Karkat corrects, moving your head to recapture your mouth

"Hehehe, Karkat!" You open your mouth quickly, luring his tongue to wrestle with yours, a battle you quickly lose.

You let him dominate he kiss, dominate you and somewhere in the back of your mind, you admit to yourself that you kind of like it. Your hands trail up his body, ending on his shoulders, pulling him closer. His arms come up to rest on your hips, gently flexing over your shirt.

== Be Karkat

_OhgogOhgogOhgogOhgog!_ You can't believe this is happening! How long have you wanted this to happen? Ho many times have you imagined this? You had wanted to take it slower than this, but when he looked at you during that kiss, the way he looked during it... oh gog. You couldn;t help your self!

You found a middle ground between your mind's wanting of light pecking and your body's need for sloppy make-outs; a less sloppy, more loving make out. Or at least that's what you were trying to convey with your lips and tongue. You felt a slight lick over your lips as he pulled away. You open your eyes at feeling, seeing one of the sexiest sights you've ever seen. John's eyes were half lidded, his face a bright shade of red, lips slightly parted, breath coming out in a slight panting... it took all of your control not to jump on him right there. His blue, blue eyes blink open lazily, his smile radiant.

"That was..." You start.

"Fucking amazing." John finishes for you. "So... what does this make us, Karkat?"

"For Trolls, we would be Matesprits. The reddest quadrant."

"The heart one?" Oh gog he is so adorable!

"Y-yeah."

John leans in, placing his head in the crock of your neck and whispers: "That sounds nice."

You can't help but notice how his head fits perfectly into your neck. Like you were puzzle or Tetris pieces, meant for each other. Gog, that sounded sappy. But so true.

"On earth, we'd be dating. Boyfriends. I think Matesprits sounds nicer. And sweeter."

"Not sweeter than you." You say before you can stop the words from leaving your mouth. You can feel the blood pour into your face.

John removes his head from your shoulder, looking you right in the eyes, smile soft. "That was super sweet, Karkat."

You lightly press you lips together again, then pull back. "What do you want to do now, John? 'Cause if we keep making out, I'm not sure if I will be able to control myself." You say, realizing that John was still sitting on your hips.

"You sound so different when your not yelling, Karkat." He giggles. "Hmmm... I'm not sure I'm ready for anything too, uhhh, you know... but I'm fine as long as I can stay here with you... Oh! I know! We could watch one of your movies! What do you have?"

You snort. "The better question is what don't I have... hope you like romacons."

"Anything's fine." He slides backwards off your legs, allowing you to get up.

He jumps up with ease, probably using the wind to carry him. He extends his arm down to pull you up. He giggles, you blush. You take his hand, leading him to your respiteblock. You arrive quickly, silently thanking the wonderful invention of teleportation.

"What are these?" He asks when you drag him to over to your movie collection. "Uhhh... Karkat? Do you have any human movies? I can't read or understand Alternian."

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, I do. I've been slowly sampling your human romance movies for the past three years on this fucking flying rock. Would you like to pick one or just play the one I'm on?"

He leans back, resting his body against yours. "What are you on?"

"Not sure." You answer, burrowing your face into John's soft, fluffy, black hair. "It was something about a ship. 'The best love story ever.' 'Ironic as Fuck' according to Strider."

John spins around almost as fast as you've seen Strider move during strifes. "Oh. My. God. You havei_Titanic_/i?" His eyes were wide either out of excitement or fear. You really couldn't tell.

"Yeah... I think that's what it's called." You cock your head to the side, trying to read his expression further. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah." He smiles lightly. "I'm just going to warn you though," he wraps his arms around you neck, your breath halts. "there is no way I can get though without crying."

You start to roll your eyes. He taps his forehead against yours, electric blue eyes meeting your own. "Karkat. You will not make it though the movie without crying."

"So do you not want to watch it, fuckass? Or are you going to shut up?" You tease, trying to hide your worrying. Not that you'd ever admit it to anyone, but you are a bit of a crier when it comes to romantic or sad movies. Okay, okay. You've been known to bawl your eyes out. Sollux and Terezi once gave you a badge that read: 'Most likely to burst into tears at any given time'. Did they not want you to cry when trolls got kills right in front of your face? Or screen?

John pulls back and playfully sticks his tongue out at you. "No, no, we can watch it. But you will cry. And I won't shut up."

You can live with that. You could also live with cuddling on your bed, tighter than two of Jade's snuggle buddies. _Gog, you are such a sap._ You untwine your self from John's arms and begin to drag your desk next to your _bed_.

"Karkat?" John askes. "I thought Trolls slept in recoopa-somethings."

"Recuperacoons. Yeah we did, but a recuperacoon isn't much good with out any Sopor Slime to put into it and we ran out of that three years ago. So, we all made the painful transition into human beds and sleep packed with nightmares."

"Why nightmares?" he asks as you pull up your 'shitty downloaded human movies' file.

"We slept in Sopor Slime to help us not have bad dreams about the past or murder or blood or how fucked up troll life really is. With out it, we were bombarded with horrid visions at night." You glance at John, seeing his face expression being pitiful, caring, and sad. Sad for you. No, John should never be sad. "Eventually, we were able to get somewhat use to them. Solllux helped a lot. He's had to deal with our dreams times twenty-two or some huge even number that has twos in it for his whole life. Even when he's awake."

John's eye brows tilted upward. "Really?"

"Yeah. Being a 'high level psionic' and all that comes with a down side apparently." You pull up _Titanic_'s title screen and are about to hit play when "What did you just say, John?" Did he say what you thought he said?

"I said 'Well, at least he has Dave'" He smiles at you. You must be looking surprised or confused because the next words out of his mouth are "Wait... did you not know? That they are together?"

Yep he said what you thought he said. "No. I did not know that my Moirail was in a relationship." You growl. "How long have you known?"

"About half and hour." He says, cutely nocking his head to on side. "I guess they didn't want anyone to know. If it makes you feel better, we can go yell at them later." John smiles, showing off his imperfect teeth, making it that much cuter.

You hit play and sit on the edge of your bed. "Later." you say. "I only want to be with you right now."

John's face lights up like Prospit and you wonder when you'll stop saying stupid things. He instantly crawls into your lap, leaning into your arms. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You rearrange yourself into a half-laying half-sitting position against all the blankets on your bed. John shits to match you and ends up half laying on top of you, his head rubbing into your chest.

One of your hands moves to start petting and rubbing the silky, fluffy raven tresses; the other moving to intwine with his. When he cuddles into your chest again what's left of your heart melts.

"Your shirt's not going to make it through this movie dry, Karkat." He warns.

"Bring it." You reply and he laughs. Light, gentle, giggling. Gog, do you love his laugh.

== Three hours later; still the Adorabloodthirsty one

John's arms are around your neck, yours around his waist. Both of you are now sitting up, clinging to the other for dear life as if you were the ones on the _Titanic. _John's body shakes with silent sobs and red tears continue to leak from your eyes. The music start to play again and you completely lose it. You are both bawling, death grips on each other tightening, nowhere close to being intelligible words spilling from wailing mouths.

Oh gog, how did the humans do it? This kind of mass death would never make a Troll cry, but with that music and _they're still inside the ship_! More scenes of people boarding 'life-boats', Jack and Rose trying to find a way off... Through the haze build up in your mind, you find it funny how the humans failed to understand the hemospecturm, yet this movie seemed to work off a version of 'classes' based off money. How stupid.

John snuggles closer to you, tears still cascading down his face. You give him some credit, positive that your shirt is completely soaked by now. You move one of your hands from his hips to his head, lightly caressing his hair, comfortably. The ship tips further, sinking, then... breaks; sending everyone into the freezing water. Damn, that's a lot of low bloods no one cared to save. Something hitches inside of you and it suddenly makes you upset that these people were going to die because they were a lower class.

John's grip loosens as he moves to set himself in your lap, diverting your pervious train of thought to him.

"I-it's s-so n-not...not fair..." He chokes out. "A-all those pe-people... j-just because they they were 'low class'... all those peo-people." You know John's not just talking about the movie anymore.

"A-and you s-say that you don't understand our hem-hemospecturm." You curse your voice for breaking. "I know, John. I know."

He smiles weakly, tightening his grip on your arm. You return your attention to the screen in time to see Jack telling Rose to stay alive. "He's lying..." John whispers. "He isn't..." he doesn't have to finish. Jack doesn't make it. John burst into low sobs again. You hold him, rusty tears streaming down your cheeks as well.

"Shh... John... I-it's j-just a m-movie..." Nice comforting there, can't even keep yourself together. Both of you are shaking uncontrollably.

"I-I-I kn-know...it's it's j-jsut..." You turn him so you can reach his lips, silencing him with a soft kiss.

"I know." You whisper.

"D-don't ever leave me like that Karkat... promise?" You pull back, locking your yellow-red eyes with his deep, pure blue.

"I'll never leave you. I promise." You softly kiss him again, gog you are pathetic.

He smiles, eyes still sad. "Thank you Karkat. I love-pity you." He whispers. "Whatever works."

You smile and wipe the tears from his face. "I love-pity you too." You hug him tightly. "And I won't ever let go."

It doesn't matter that Jack will catch up to the meteor any day. It doesn't matter that your Moirail was keeping a secret from you. It doesn't matter that you might hurt Terezi's feelings. With John in your arms and heart, nothing matters. You love him. You would take on the world and die for him. And you will never let him go.


End file.
